i realised today that supervision is just that...supervision!

The university.

The university has been an eye opener, I have seen raw human characteristics, attributes to people that you only read about; hypocrisy , joy, happiness, genuine concern, kindness, hatred, patience, friendship, cunningness. I have been in lectures where the same content is presented so differently by different people that it leaves u speechless!..; organized lectures, others with scattered minds, confused ones, frustrated, chauvinistic, overconfident and effective ones all under one roof. I made a conscious decision that I will take every occurrence in my life as such, I am not owed anything by anyone, life is just that, a journey I am committed to take, not by choice but by design, plans are a human way of trying to bring some structure in a complexly unstructured existence. It will be what it is.

The human center...!

I had an interesting conversation today with a colleague, he spoke of "energy " inside and around us. That we have the ability to change our destiny and heal our bodies with that energy...this reminded me of a similar talk I had a long time ago with sensei, in which he spoke of the "center ". That we should strive to find our center and we would find peace and prosperity. Later I was made to understand that prosperity isn't sorely monetary... with this thoughts at hand I came to a conclusion: I have lost my center, nothing is sure and I feel as though all is fleeting by...without my control. Of the few things that have remained is that I still enjoy having intelligent conversations, my hate for fatness, to me it's a show of indiscipline. I don't get intrigued by vulgar talk especially when the speakers intention is to be funny. I'm of the opinion that we eat to live...not the other way around. It's evident that am sure of what I don't want...the question is what do I want?

flirts on chat..!

We have all met with the annoying flirts. These are men who for some reason think very highly of themselves. There is a guy whose name I will withhold but if he has a morsel of intelligence, on reading this he shd know it's him. He once told me that with him I would see parts of a man I never knew existed ..................I too was silent. I thought with all the biology classes in high-school, and knowing our syllabus, very little is left to the imagination so, Was the statement meant to be mysterious or what ...?!
Anyway I decided to play the blonde and see just how far the tinkler would go...and far he went.! If there weren't like a thousand laws on privacy and all...u would have enjoyed a taste of the chat.

Flavours of Patriotism

Its not easy to write, now I realize and maybe I have come to appreciate those who do write a little more. You always have thousands of varying ideas running around in your head getting to put one, just one idea down is a huge challenge. Ave been reading on a few blogs and its interesting how different people are. This takes me back to the possibility of this philosophy…”we are different and for this reason we are.”
A lot has been happening here, with the cases being confirmed at the ICC, against 4 of the 6 people accused of causing post election violence and it has raised mixed reactions. Some are opting to go on hunger strike till the ruling is overturned…really? Hunger strike?! Given the recent drought and famine that hit parts of East Africa , that doesn’t seem like such a responsible thing to do. I think it’s in bad taste to choose not to eat while you are well aware of people within your country who have no other choice than to be hungry. Anyway, I don’t know how true these allegations are but being Kenya…anything is possible!

previews marathon

am watching previews of some movies and when the guy screams one of his eyes turns hollow and the other lights on fire!! and am thinking was that really necessary?! was it meant to be scary?! many times movies in an attempt to be different and unique end up being well unnecessary. i spoke too soon ave just seen another one where a human is fighting some not so human creatures and get this... they have two bodies but fused on just 2 legs...and, they are still spitting fire! whats up with that?! Finally the movie ave been waiting for "real steel".... its alive!

Highschool Drama...oops!!

There are those stories from high school that u just can’t forget. There is one in particular that will just make ur day. So a trip was organized for the form two’s to go for swimming. The usual grounds at kasarani were being renovated therefore, they were to go to ruaraka. Unfortunately the bus driver wasn’t around, he had been sent to collect some official mail. The students became impatient and agitated, they wanted to go for swimming before the sun went down. So the headteacher had no choice but to get another driver. The driver they got ..well, what can I say, on a previous trip, he couldn’t get himself to westlands and knocked on a road construction barrier…and no we had not been obstracted by any other vehicle. The teacher on duty was hesitant to allow this driver to take them, especially with all the road construction that had been going on recently. Exits had kept changing and if u weren’t carefull one could get on the wrong exit.

Anyway, it was agreed that he would take them. All went well, drama came when it was time to go back to school. They drove over a bridge and missed the exit. The students started shouting , hey driver, we are going the wrong way. The guy panicked and was starting to sweat and I mean sweat heavily. The teacher advised him that there was no reason to panic, that they would find another exit ahead. One of the student came to the teacher and said that she needed to pee. By now it was 7:30 pm, it was too dark to let the student out to relieve herself in a bush. She was told to hold on till they reach the school, and that they would get there soon. What was supposed to be a 20 minutes drive became a 1 hr nightmare for the students. By this time she was so pressed her cheeks were red! She danced around the bus holding her legs together, nearly busting…when they got to the school, she rushed to the door and pushed it open with all her might…but as she moved her legs to step out of the bus, there was water everywhere…she urinated on herself right at the bus step.! You can only imagine what happened next…!!

campus life...?!

when i hear people discussing campus life and the dangers that be, i sometimes wonder which campus? having been in campus twice, yet i still seem to be living life on the peripheral..(and no, thats not a type of a car!). There are always meetings about drug abuse on the rise among students, and i would swear every one i meet looks normal. so i wonder where are these peddlers, seriously, i sometimes go looking at people idling and ask myself could that one be one of them? and if it were how would i go about securing a buy?..."aaaahhhh hi there mister, i want to buy some drugs"....?

This reminds me of an incident probably totally unrelated that happened recently, so i go out for lunch, and this guy we went to college with passes by and says hi...am like hi to u too. He sits..mmmmmhhhh note i didnt say "you may have a sit" no no no... but, moving on. He receives a call on his cell, which i bet was a self dialed call, you know, like those fake call buttons that help you get off meetings. He says 'hi, aaam i dont have it but i can organise for u to get it.. 'hangs up and goes on to explain the call to me: That was my bro, he and his friends want me to find them a pipe thing for smoking pot. How i wish u could have seen my face! aaargh Seriously!? you are bragging about that!...he probably thought it would sound cool. A pity..really, with all the dysfunctioning side effects and failed take offs, he should know better than to advertise future weakness.....to a chick no less!!

nothing to write...

When the year started, I had prepared Myself for the time when I will have nothing to write and therefore write nothing ...!

classroom nags 2...the self appointed class rep!

Yeah i guess after watching so much TV you learn a thing or two. Whatever hits make a sequel of it and give it a cool name. this self appointed representatives are always doing the wrong thing at the wrong time..if its not collecting assignments way before the due date, its recommending make up sessions on a Saturday mid-morning, yes mid-morning,thats neither morning nor afternoon,which simply means your whole saturday will be spent in school. It doesnt stop there, these are the people who vote for a sit in cat when there is an option for a take away cat. They argue that it provides for a more balanced assessment...what? The guys who while in class go " Sir? excuse me but aren't we supposed to be doing 2 term papers this semester?" yes those ones! We have all met them and ...loved to hate them, but no matter what we wish for they simply don't stop!!!!

Mad Faith!

There is nothing worse than having objectives and the knowledge that they are not achievable by you in your current state. That just came to my head, its not at all what I meant to write. I had a thought earlier that seemed a bit anti Christian teachings…that the major reason for depression and madness is not the lack of capacity to handle stress but the over reliance in God to solve our problems. I'll explain. I believe in God, He exist, otherwise how would you explain life. But we are taught that God is our savior, that when things get tough he will come to our rescue, now when that doesn’t happen, we question our faith, then his existence and what we can’t handle is not the stress itself, but the thought that we’ve been so naïve. God didn’t come to our rescue…that’s what breaks an individuals spirit.
It shocks me that I would even consider that, me with my history. But somehow it’s a type of prayer, I mean , God sees and hears everything, and nothing happens without his knowledge and acceptance, I hope he reads this and comes to our rescue.

all abt repeated mistakes...!!

I am in search of a scientific explanation for all this….but this life keeps repeating itself over and over….. yet every time a mistake is done people get surprised “ I can't believe this happened to me” they get shocked each time, yet the error is not new, neither is it designed unique to anyone. The aspect of trust and love seem to play a significant role in creating the sense of “inexistence” of sin…if I love that person then they cannot possibly do this and when they do ‘oh my it’s a disaster!’. It is however interesting to note that even when the sinner is made aware that indeed they will sin in this way, they still attempt to do it in secret assuming themselves cleverer than those who tried and failed before. Most researchers are interested in the social political ills mainly because they do not or have not realized the power of the gender war, to them sins against people who are not men are irrelevant. yet it is this people who are solely in charge of life and rearing, there is no winning this!.

matatu

Am stuck in traffic with a wire mat, so far I can't tell a single song that has played, I mean where do they get this songs. To make matters worse the base is louder than the actual song. Am not a hater but seriously ...

Big fish ..

My mind is numb, i have no feelings whatsoever in my head. i can't allow myself to feel....you see, there is an order of things, a routine normally followed for training personnel. Three months ago i went to an institution for a what seemed to be a straight forward procedure. The MD took the training request letter and said there should be no  problem, check with us next week. Which i did, and the week after that and the ones after that. Now three months later they tell me "oh sorry but we can't allow you to do your training here..." sorry?! Sorry!?! are you mad! this shit takes place 3 times a year. you've just cost me 4 months of training worth six credits and you tell me sorry! are you high?    But of course this is not what you tell Big Fish when you are not even a Marine animal...! So i looked at him, counted backwards from 5 to 1 then said 'i understand, thanku. i guess i'l seek grounds elsewhere. Gd day sir'.   Now do you see why i can't allow any thinking, aaaargh!

Equality in education...my take!

Rousseau writes in Emile that education for women should be only to teach about her future role as a wife.. earlier this would have made me so mad that id go back in time and make noise about it. But the recent events or not so recent events of families breaking and the culture of men abandoning their families has got me thinking. Maybe such education was not so bad what they failed to realize was that they made the woman so efficient in her work and responsibilities that change was inevitable. That is she knew what was expected of her and how to do it but the man was left to join in a union to which his role was unclear and even worse he had no clue how to go about it. Since they were trained as doctors they became very good doctors but no one trained them to be husbands, this was expected to be innate, remember this was the same period that rousseau and locke argued against innate knowledge that knowledge was acquired thro the senses, now them expecting men to just somehow know without the experiences being transfer to their minds wouldn’t u call that abit hypocritical and naive. I propose educational dimension which caters for family education for all parties involved. For the term wife only exist if the husband exist, without which wife does not exist. For a woman to be a wife she must have a husband, it does not exist in solitary and therefore should not be treated as such. Men continuously fail in families for they are made  to see themselves as separate to the day to day running of the household, yet in reality the household cannot exist without the concerned parties. How stupid it is to say that women spend a lot of money on household things yet you as the man expects clean clothes and food and a carpet and all that a house should have…..at zero cost. Some husbands are good managers of companies because they see themselves as part of the organisation and needed, but the house is seen not part of what they need to apply themselves in its running…so stupid, seriously. Simply because it takes a man a minute to reproduce and a woman 9months to bring it to fruition bringing pleasure to one and pain to another..scientist say that during birth the woman feels…pain equal to 20 bones crashing simultaneously…anyone for equality haha say for each child born the father breaks atleast 10 bones..howz that for family planning.!!! Oh sorry I meant equality!

we are different and for this reason we are!!!

I am developing a strange interest in the study of sociology, is it possible that we think and perceive life so differently? Conflict, feminist, among other theories, communism, all these strike a chord, because I believe that we are different and for this reason we are! In the philosophy class I have learnt that there is teaching , guiding and then there is simply telling what u know and hoping that the learner not only being at owe of your knowledge will grasp something or other…

Issue of education and innovation, aesthetics, dimensions of education...anyone?

of education...and schools

The issue of private schools, a short story; a mother studies in a public school where the parents contribute building fund each year for the upkeep of the school. The quality of education is good, teachers are motivated, then comes free education, there is a greater enrollment, reduced funding as parents no longer contribute building fund, the number of teachers remains the same, size of school and number. of classes remain same, result ;congestion, poor teacher pupil ratio, quality of education lowers greatly, entrepreneurs see a  need in the society and try to satisfy it by building more schools and hiring teachers to provide the much needed quality education…years go by and the mother takes their child to private school, this leads to a situation where by those in public school and those in private schools receive different type of education….Who’s problem is it? The division created, really ,who is causing it?

Those trying to solve an existing problem or the governments’ obvious failure in implementing an overly ambitious project without laying proper structures in place?!

the Head and all that it appertains to be...!!!?

I will illustrate, a man is married to a woman for forty years, he looses his job ten years into the marriage with 3 major bank and sacco loans, he panics and goes upcountry leaving the wife with five children one of whom is infant, she burns under the sun literally at a jua kali workshop with the first borns, with the bulk of their money going to clear debt, get socially stigmatized, then when all dust settles , he gets back, and stills requires the title Head of the house, my argument is let him be the head but if the organism functions optimally with the head and reduces efficiency by 90% with the gadget 'head' on, then by all means, disconnect the head, it shall still remain as the head becoz its seems to be all they care abt. What is unknown is that literally the family as an organ is headed by whoever steers it in direction of growth and intergration.! So by critically analyzing the failures of the patriarchal family I will propose the above as the truth and light!

classroom hangup!!

As though being the only female in the class is not bad enough, I also happen to be the only non-religious…in the class of philosophy of education, in which we are taught everything and I mean everything else but philosophy of education, latin, theology, current events, bibliography…quotes such as "since we have all studying theology therefore we know the difference between teontology and deontology….eeehhh no we haven’t, I haven’t studied philosophy to begin with. Oh they are kind though at times rare very rare they do mention like in your field ict…don't get me wrong, this turned out to be the most informative of all my sessions.

boy meets gal

So this issue of boy meets girl but I guess in this new age of gender sensitivity its boy/girl meets girl/boy…not to be misinterpreted as girl meets girl…atleast not in what am referring to…I have felt for years that the scale was tipped , first by what I like to refer to traditional history, the only diff btw our African history is that we were too arrogant to write but they did…2^nd by language and choice of translation, I feel that when the translators failed to find a fulfilling word to fit they chose a masculine word justifying it by it runs both ways …yeah right! This is a concept I hope to persue in detail with time, and as I gain knowledge on what is known then I can begin to shine light on the unknown, the sad part is , the unknown isn’t always hidden,

classroom nags!!!

You have no idea what personal space is if you keep asking someone irritating personal questions, so I get to class at 8 in the morning ,the self appointed class rep, whispers “ a r u feeling well?” u seem to be in a bad mood…really? Its 8 in the morning you idiot, I anyway simply apply the now polished skill of ignoring or as I like to call it u r part of the room’s décor. As though that was not enough he goes on to tell the professor  that he was nervous during our couselling practice session where I was the patient and he the doctor, not becoz of his own incompetence but get this becoz he feared I was in a bad mood!!! Yeah in class, who died and made u a psychoanalyst I mean seriously…! I was as  happy as I could be at 8 and even if I wasn’t what concern is it of urs. I did not let it pass, I said calmly…u know , u can be annoying at times. So it was no surprise when we playd doc again I raised the one topic I knew he couldn’t hack…polygamy!. Go figure.

about thougths and new things

Thoughts provoke action but sometimes they provoke more thought.when something is starting, not much faith is placed in it, there is all this thinking about is this right ? 

Thinking makes us be able to make sense of the world around us in different ways according to our needs and what we take as significant.

the coming year

2012...really, somehow i never thought the years would have such a number. well no resolutions just waiting to see how it goes. and since this is my first blog, online atleast , i should prepare myself for days when i will have nothing to write, and therefore write nothing. Happy New Year ...